I'm Alan Partridge1997

[Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]

Alan Partridge:
[singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind!

Susan:
[With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today?

Alan Partridge:
Classic Queen! I'm very well, thank you, how are you?

Susan:
I'm fine.

Alan Partridge:
I like the, uh, I like those earrings. Are they gold?

Susan:
Yes, they're rose gold.

Alan Partridge:
Well, that's not really gold, is it? But, er, they're very nice. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head!