I'm Alan Partridge1997

[Alan is on a date with Jill at an owl sanctuary]

Alan Partridge:
You know, when I used to see you in reception, do you know what I used to think?

Jill:
No.

Alan Partridge:
I used to think "Ooohh... she's nicer than my wife."

Jill:
[laughs] What? That's terrible. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan.

[they smile coyly at each other. Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]

Jill:
[giggling] You're mad, you are!

Alan Partridge:
Oh, I know, I am a bit mad.

[he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film]

Alan Partridge:
AAHHH!

[she shrieks and laughs. Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]

Alan Partridge:
It's alright. No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman.