Jeeves and Wooster1990

Jeeves:
A telegram for you, sir.

Bertie:
[in the bathtub] Oh, well, you'd better read it, Jeeves.

Jeeves:
Very good, sir.

[clears throat]

Jeeves:
"Come immediately. Serious rift Madeline and Self. Unless you come earliest possible moment prepared lend every effort reconciliation, wedding will be broken off. Reply, Gussie," sir.

Bertie:
Hmm, well, these are deep waters, Jeeves. There is only one thing that I can say now with any certainty, and that is that Gussie has made an ass of himself again.

Jeeves:
There is that possibility, sir.

Bertie:
Have you got your telegraph pad handy?

Jeeves:
Yes, sir.

Bertie:
Right, well send this.

Jeeves:
[clears throat to indicate readiness to receive dictation]

Bertie:
"Fink-Nottle, Totleigh Towers, Totleigh-in-the-Wold, Gloucestershire. Yes, that's all very well. You say 'come here immediately,' but how dickens can I? Relations between Pop Bassett and self not such as to make him welcome Bertram. Would hurl out on ear and set dogs on. What serious rift? Why serious rift? Why dickens? What have you been doing to the girl? Reply, Bertie."