Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge1994

[Roger Moore still hasn't arrived]

Keith Hunt:
It's a complete shambles, you're putting a brave face on it but he's not here! You tell the viewers Roger Moore's turning up, he's not!

Alan Partridge:
[holding his hand to his earpiece] Keith Hunt, let me stop you in your tracks there, Keith Hunt, you can eat your hat now because, ladies and gentleman, I can confirm Roger Moore is on the show! We're having him on the show right now, live...

Keith Hunt:
Where is he?

Alan Partridge:
Live by telephone linkup from the car on a mobile phone. Hello Roger? Hello Roger?

Roger Moore:
[voice] Hello, Alan.

Alan Partridge:
Oh, joy! Oh, Roger Moore, uh, erm... Knowing Me, Alan Partridge, Knowing You, Roger Moore, A-ha!

[sound of signal interference]

Alan Partridge:
Roger? No? Alright, listen, I'm going to cut to a key question, Roger, we don't have much time... A hypothetical fistfight takes place between Simon Templar, The Saint, and James Bond, 007. Who wins? Any thoughts on that, Roger?

[no answer]

Alan Partridge:
Roger?

[pause]

Alan Partridge:
Roger?

[pause]

Alan Partridge:
Roger?

[the signal noise fades out]

Alan Partridge:
[desperately] ROGER!