Little Britain2003

Mike:
Hey, you open for afternoon tea?

Scottish Guy:
Maybe I am and maybe I'm not [plays tune on flute]

Mike:
Oh, OK. [starts to walk out]

Scottish Guy:
No, no, I am, I am, please, sit down. [shows them to a table]

Mother:
Wow, isn't this an adorable place, Kimberly?

Kimberly:
It smells funny in here!

Scottish Guy:
I shall be back in a moment with the cake trolley. [puts his hand out and grabs the cake trolley] Here I am with the cake trolley.

Mother:
Mm, those look good, don't they honey?

Kimberly:
I want the chocolate cake.

Mother:
OK, OK, honey [to Scottish guy] Kimberly has a nut allergy. Do you know if the chocolate cake contains nuts?

Scottish Guy:
Yeeeeees.

Kimberly:
What, yes, you know, or yes, there are nuts?

Scottish Guy:
Yeeeeees.

Mike:
Well, which?

Scottish Guy:
[picks up a piece of cake and puts it to his ear] Carrot cake, carrot cake, have ye any nuts? [listens] The carrot cake contains? no nuts.

Scottish Guy:
[picks up another piece of cake to his ear] Lemon drizzle cake, lemon drizzle cake, have ye any nuts? [listens] The lemon drizzle cake contains... no nuts [plays flute] No nuts.

Scottish Guy:
[picks up chocolate cake to his ear] Chocolate cake, chocolate cake, have ye any nuts? [listens] [to Mike] He wants to speak to you.

Mike:
[takes cake, baffled, puts it to his ear and listens] Mike Kapalski?