Lost in Austen2008

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[haughtily] I shall say what I have to say, and then I shall leave immediately. First, I made it pellucidly clear to you, Mrs. Bennet, over my salt, that I considered the brothers Collins an excellent match for your daughters. Yet you have done nothing to promote the cause. On the contrary, you have abandoned them to a house run by criminally incompetent servants. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

[stunned silence]

Mrs. Bennet:
I say this. You are a prig, madam, a pander and a common bully. And you cheat at cards. Do you suppose you may enter my house and brandish your hat at me thus? I have a mind to turn you upside down and use you to scrape out Ambrosia's sty.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[coldly] Madam, I take my leave of you.

Mrs. Bennet:
Do! Or I shall take you out and set to scraping.

[Jane and Amanda try to stop themselves giggling]

Mrs. Bennet:
Scrape, scrape, scrape I shall go!

Mr. Bennet:
Tally ho, wife!

Mr Collins:
Mrs. Bennet, you must desist.

Jane Bennet:
Oh, be quiet, you silly man. Do you suppose Mama would permit her daughters to be married to your brothers, when before her very eyes is the specimen of you?

Amanda Price:
Mrs. Bennet, that was... bloody marvellous.

Mrs. Bennet:
[modestly] It *was* refreshing.