Malcolm in the Middle2000

Francis:
Isn't that the bread maker Mom asked for last year?

Grandma Ida:
If she wants bread so much, she should write back when her mother writes to her. This was for Cousin Nicola. I spent a day shopping for it, then she marries a Protestant. That camera, for your father, right before he refused to drive me to the liquor store. All the nice things I do for people.

Francis:
Oh my God, you're crazy. I just thought you were evil, but you are nuts. Grandma, gifts aren't conditional. They're gifts. You give them to people because you love them. They're not something you can take away because of some petty slight. You're not teaching people anything, you haven't gotten back at them. They don't even know they've upset you. All you've done here is constructed a monument to your own insanity. WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DOES THAT?

Grandma Ida:
A lonely, bitter old woman. Look what I've done. What use is all these things to me now? They could've brought somebody some happiness and instead they rot here.

[Sarcastically]

Grandma Ida:
Oh. My hear... My heart. I think it's... Melting. Yes, it's melting. You've showed me the way, Francis, by yelling at me. Quick, go get my magic sled. And me and my reindeers will go and give Christmas to other mean, rude, stupid people. We'll all join hands and sing songs and we'll sprinkle the ingrates with fairy dust and...