Married with Children1987

TV News Anchor:
And to close, we have a story about a true moron. Tonight, an unemployed househusband and self-described man of nature, thinking that the last Caribbean pygmy turtle born in captivity was unhappy, broke into the zoo aquarium, stole the turtle, and released it into Lake Michigan. Aparently, this man of nature didn't know that it was a saltwater turtle. Witnesses reported that the turtle, Bosco, tried valiantly to crawl back out of the water, only to be thrown back in by this deranged unemployed man, standing on the bank singing "Born Free". Bosco will be missed.

[a photo of a turtle with the caption:
'Bosco, 1901-1989' is shown on the TV screen]

TV News Anchor:
Bail for this insane man has been set at $25,000. Not nearly enough in this reporter's opinion.

Marcy Rhoades:
[looks at the $25,000 check she has] Ah, well. I guess I know what I have to do.

Al Bundy:
You gonna go bail him out?

Marcy Rhoades:
Let him rot. I'm gonna buy myself a new Jag.