Married with Children1987

[first lines]

[Al has a bruse on his face from being punched earlier in the previous episode]

Jefferson D'Arcy:
Oh, Al that's a beaut.

Griff:
I haven't seen a shiner that bad since I told my wife that she was starting to look like Al Roker.

Jefferson D'Arcy:
Well, it look's like Marcy was right. She said that it was only a matter of time before some young woman beat the holy hell out of you.

Al Bundy:
I'll have you know that I got this black eye last night, explaining to a jealous boyfriend how his little lady would rather stay with me.

Jefferson D'Arcy:
Well, where is she?

Al Bundy:
I sent her out shopping for a new waterbed. This one has a leak and I worry when she bounces. So, you just tell Marcy that I'm doing just fine with the ladies. That Al Bundy is not only moving in the fast lane, but he's doing wheelies in it, baby!

[Jefferson exits]

Griff:
Is it true. Al? About the girl?

Al Bundy:
Every word of it. Except that the guy's name was Sasquatch, the girl left with him, and now there's an odor coming from that waterbed that scares even me!