Married with Children1987

Al Bundy:
I can't believe you're not with me on this thing, Steve. You, me, and Buck... we're guys. We were put on this Earth to conquer, to rule. Then we got married and it's over for us. But Buck... he's in his prime. Look at him, Steve. You can't tell me you're not a little envious. He's got the life. He has the life that all men should have. The life I used to have. A new b*tch every night. Doesn't have to take them out to dinner, doesn't have to dress up, doesn't have to take a bath, and the best part of all is that they're not there in the morning. It's all "woof-woof, bam-bam, thank you ma'am. Don't call me. I'll call you". Think about it, Steve. Isn't that the life that you wanted?

Steve Rhoades:
Well, I really don't mind bathing, Al. Other then that, he's everything I ever wanted to be.

Al Bundy:
Then be like me, Steve. Live through him. No wife, no steady girlfriend, no commitment. Just 365 one night stands out of the year. You see the little poodle he was with?

Steve Rhoades:
[laughs] Yeah, how was she? What am I saying? I'm talking to a dog.