Married with Children1987

Bud:
Where's Dad?

Peggy:
In the bathroom breaking in his new toilet.

[Al walks in the living room and sits on the couch]

Peggy:
How was it, honey?

Al:
I don't know, Peg. I'm constipated. This is the worst day of my life. I wonder if this ever happened to Dad?

Peggy:
Aww, honey. Do you want me to undercook you some chicken?

Al:
No thanks, Peg. It'll take more than raw poultry to fix what's wrong with me.

[turns on TV]

TV Announcer:
And now back to the rest of ABC's lineup: "Roseanne" and the Emmy winning "Thirtysomething".

[Al nods his head, picks up the newspaper and walks back into the bathroom]