Master of None2015

[first lines]

Dev:
[waiting for bartender] Are we ever gonna get to order a drink? This clown's been muddling cucumbers for 20 minutes.

Arnold:
Bro, here's the move. You make eye contact, then you flash the cash. Check this out. [wildly waving some bills] Hmm?

Dev:
Hey, it's working. He's looking over here.

Arnold:
Yeah, yeah. Huh? [but bartender moves toward girl instead] Aw, man. Game over. Look at that.

Dev:
Big surprise. So he's gonna serve the hot girl instead of tending to the lovely, large Caucasian man and his charming Indian friend.

Arnold:
If that bozo thinks he's getting a tip after this bullshit... he's right. I'm actually too afraid of the awkwardness of not tipping.

Dev:
You could always give him a dollar and then give him a mean mug afterwards. Just like... [grunts]

Arnold:
Throws a dollar. [grunts]

Dev:
That's good. Real mean.

Arnold:
Thank you.