Master of None2015

[first lines]

Colin:
The infected! They're closing in! [laughs] Just kidding. You're safe at craft services. Colin Salmon. [extends his hand]

Dev:
Hi. Dev. I'm a huge fan.

Colin:
Oh, good to see you're charging up for the scene. Watch the dairy, though. It's not good for the voice.

Dev:
Uh-oh. Well, this is my second one. I'm excited for the scene today.

Colin:
As am I. But, of course, today is also the anniversary of the disappearance of my cat, Shakespeare, so there's a bit of a dark cloud above us today.

Dev:
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?

Colin:
Took him to the Swiss premiere of Alien vs. Predator. We were enjoying a picnic by Lake Geneva when an owl came, snatched Shakespeare with his talons. They flew off. We never saw each other again. The memory of that gruesome silhouette against an Alpine sunset... is something I will never forget.

Dev:
All right, well um, it was great to meet you. Um, I'm gonna eat this cinnamon raisin bagel. I'll see you out there.

Colin:
[Colin still striking his melancholy pose] Bye...