Metalocalypse2006

Nathan Explosion:
[from offstage] And now, please welcome to the stage... PICKLLLLLLLLESSSS!

Pickles the Drummer:
[seemingly scared witless] So... anysways... I just got back from vacation. And, uh... I went to the beach... for vacation. And you know what I got at the beach? [he reaches into his back pocket] Sand! [he throws a handful of sand into the eyes of the heckler who booed him offstage at the small comedy club]

Heckler:
Aaaahhh! My eyes! I can't see! [the audience roars with laughter]

Pickles the Drummer:
Okay. All right, so I donated blood the other day. Not mine. [the audience laughs again] You guys wanna see me donate some blood to *you*? Huh? Do ya? Okay! [he reaches under the stage curtain, pulls out a fire hose, and blasts the audience with a stream of blood] Woo-hoo! Wa-hoo-hoo!

Heckler:
Ahhh! [the heckler gets blasted out of his seat]

Pickles the Drummer:
Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo, yeah!

Lorkey the Sailor:
[Lorkey is watching from backstage] Eh, can't teach 'em no more. [he pulls out a pistol and shoots himself in the head]

Pickles the Drummer:
Woo, yeah! [he brings out a hunting rifle and starts shooting wildly over the heads of the audience] Yeah! [he stops and aims the rifle at the front row] Uh-oh! I thought this was the NRA! [the audience laughs and applauds] Any of you dildoes wanna fight? Huh? [he sees the old woman who heckled him at the small comedy club] What about you, grandma? Huh? [she looks terrified] Aw... I'm just messin' with ya!