Mike Bassett: Manager2005

Mike Bassett:
[Sat in the stands on phone to coach Doddsy after being sent off] Hello Doddsy, can you hear me lad?

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
Loud and clear boss.

Mike Bassett:
OK look, tell Jeremy to tuck in on the left.

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
What?

Mike Bassett:
Tell Jeremy to tuck in on the left. Hang on a minute [Wife Karine calls on another phone and now has a phone on either ear] Sorry love, I can't talk now I'm in the middle of a game.

Karine Bassett:
I'm locked out Mike and I'm meant to be cutting someone's hair in five minutes.

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
Middle of the game boss?

Mike Bassett:
What?

Karine Bassett:
Have you got the spare keys?

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
You want Jeremy in the middle?

Mike Bassett:
No on the left.

Karine Bassett:
On the left of what?

Mike Bassett:
No I'm talking to Doddsy love, just try round the back.

Karine Bassett:
I have it's locked.

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
Jeremy round the back boss.

Mike Bassett:
Will you shut up!

Karine Bassett:
Don't tell me to shut up Mike!

Mike Bassett:
No, not you love. Look. go next door and try and get them off the neighbours.

David "Doddsy" Dodds:
Get him off, bring on Neighbours. Got it boss, will do. [Ends phone call]

Mike Bassett:
Not Neighbours! He's injured you bloody idiot!

Karine Bassett:
I am not a bloody idiot Mike. [Hangs up]

Mike Bassett:
I'm not talking to you love. Jesus!