Modern Family2009

Claire Dunphy:
So what happened?

Principal Balaban:
Well, apparently there was some name-calling and shoving on the playground, but by the time the teachers separated them, Luke was sitting on Manny's chest.

Jay Pritchett:
Luke, that's not like you.

Principal Balaban:
Wait a minute. You're Luke's father?

Jay Pritchett:
Grandfather.

Principal Balaban:
So, Manny's father is... [Looks at Phil, who points to Jay]

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
Javier. Crazy guy. That's where he gets his fire.

Principal Balaban:
Okay. You're...

Claire Dunphy:
He's our son.

Jay Pritchett:
And my grandson.

Claire Dunphy:
I'm his daughter.

Principal Balaban:
Okay, so you're...

Manny Delgado:
His uncle.

Luke Dunphy:
Stop saying that or I'll sit on your chest again!

Claire Dunphy:
Wait a second. Is that what this is all about?

Luke Dunphy:
He keeps calling me his nephew.

Manny Delgado:
You are my nephew!