Modern Family2009

Mitchell Pritchett:
Hey, dad?

Jay Pritchett:
Don't need to talk about it. I was out of line comin' down there. It won't happen again. Scotch is at the bar.

Mitchell Pritchett:
No, I've been giving this a lot of thought.

Jay Pritchett:
I guess we're gonna talk about it.

Mitchell Pritchett:
I was rude to you. I think I was just annoyed by all the lawyer jokes. I mean, let's be honest, you don't exactly beam with pride over what I do for a living.

Jay Pritchett:
Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery.

Mitchell Pritchett:
I'm pretty sure that's not the saying, but... um, you know, Manny told me a story about his friend Danielle. Whew, she sounds like a real piece of work, by the way. But, uh, it made me realize that I take myself a little too seriously.

Jay Pritchett:
Listen, it goes without saying I've always been proud of you, and I brag about you all the time. So if I say "What do lawyers use as birth control?" and the answer is "Their personalities", I want you to know I'm not referring to you. You don't need any birth control.