Monarch of the Glen2000

[first lines]

Hector MacDonald:
[to his new dog] And... fetch!

[the dog does not respond when the ball, except to look at a dog barking from the doorstep where he sits with the others]

Hector MacDonald:
I'll explain it once more. Now, when I throw the ball - see the ball, see, made of rubber, round, all right, that's a ball - when I throw it over there, you run after it, pick it up, bring it back to me. All right? Quite simple. And... fetch!

[tosses the ball, again the ball looks after it but merely turns back to face him]

Hector MacDonald:
You see, fetching - is what dogs *do*. It's a service performed by, uh, canus familiarus, that's the Latin for dog. It's what you do, uh, what all of us have done ever since we lived in caves together, you don't have to think about it, don't think about, just *do* it. Do it. And - fetch!

[the dog only whimpers when he throws it, glancing at those on the step once more]

Hector MacDonald:
I can see you're going to be trouble.

[the dog whimpers]