Monarch of the Glen2000

[first lines]

Hector:
Half a century, Molly, since I swore allegiance to king and country. We went into the army as boys - green, callow; came out men - bold and bloody. And now the regiment reunites just as we vowed, fifty years to the day. The old squad all together again for the first time since the war.

Archie:
So how many are coming?

Hector:
Six.

Archie:
Six!

Molly:
What happened to the rest?

Hector:
Eight were untraceable; one's living with a costume designer in Perth, calls himself Judith; another's missing in Acton.

Stella:
Shouldn't that be "action"?

Hector:
No, Acton. suburb of London. Five have moved overseas, two have joined religious orders, six haven't responded, and eleven are no longer with us.

Molly:
What about Toad? He hasn't croaked, has he?

Hector:
Hope not. Hasn't R.S.V.P.'d.

Archie:
Toad?

Molly:
Best man at our wedding. You'd like him, Archie.