My Family2000

Susan Harper:
Ben. Ben. Ben! Are you sleeping?

Ben:
Mmh-hmm.

Susan Harper:
Are you planning on sleeping long?

Ben:
Mmh-hmm.

Susan Harper:
How much longer you planning on sleeping?

Ben:
[sits up] What? What is it? What do you want to tell me, Susan?

Susan Harper:
OK. It's nothing. You're clearly in a state.

Ben:
Ah. What sort of state is that, exactly? Clearly not the state of sleep, clearly not the state of peace and tranquillity which I will obviously not attain until I'm in a state of death.

Susan Harper:
I'm not talking to you when you're in a mood.

Ben:
Thank you. [goes back to sleep]

Susan Harper:
Even though that Whitten boy tried to assault our daughter.

Ben:
[sits bolt upright, looking furious] What?

Susan Harper:
In the back of his father's jag.

Susan Harper:
She's fine though.

Ben:
That's what you think, is it? No, Susan this is droit de seigneur.

Susan Harper:
Excuse me?

Ben:
Droit de seigneur, as in Don Giovanni when the lord of the manor had the right to take the virginity of any maiden in the realm.

Susan Harper:
You've been listening to Don Giovanni.

Ben:
I... No, I haven't actually; I... it's common knowledge, isn't it.

Susan Harper:
No it isn't. Oh, you're so sweet.

Ben:
I'm not sweet, I'm a father, I'm incensed.

Susan Harper:
Ben, Ben, please don't make a scene.

Ben:
Oh, damned right I'll make a scene. A boy tries to assault my daughter, the little snot.

Susan Harper:
She feels she's already handled it.

Ben:
I don't care what she thinks she thinks. I'm her father; I know what she thinks.