My Family2000

Nick:
[through a video postcard] Mum, Dad, I miss you. My Far-Eastern adventure was not what I expected. I came here to follow my dreams and ended up being pursued by a nightmare. My backpack fell down a waterfall; my passport got stolen from a bar; my girlfriend turned out to be a man! Worst of all, my plan to set up a Punch and Judy franchise on every beach in Thailand fell foul of the all-powerful Puppeteers Union. They're worse than the Triads! And I need to pay them 2,000 US Dollars or they'll stuff me and mount me and use me as a glove puppet! Mum, Dad, if you're watching this, please wire me the money before it's too late! I'm desperate!