My Family2000

Michael:
It is now the general consensus among all my friends that Dad is the most embarrassing human being on the face of the earth.

[Michael goes into kitchen]

Susan:
Michael, 'general consensus' is redundant. It's the consensus that your father's the most embarrassing human being on the face of the earth.

Ben:
I cancelled a patient so I could ferry you around, you know!

[kitchen door slams]

Ben:
I could have spent the last two hours lancing Mr Potter's lower rotten gum, and having a better time.

[to Susan]

Ben:
And don't ask me what happened! We were at PC World, right? Looking at computers. The next minute, bang, he's gone, he's disappeared.

Susan:
Did he run away?

Ben:
I wish! Sulking in the car.

Susan:
So what did you do this time?

Ben:
Why do you always make it sound like my fault?

Susan:
Experience.

Ben:
Susan, all I did was devote the entire afternoon to our charming little... boy. I took him to the shops; I chatted to some of his friends...

Susan:
Oh.

Ben:
No, I swear to you I said nothing wrong, nothing. I, I just said, "Hi there, I'm Michael's dad, what's that game about?" And that was all.

Michael:
[From inside the kitchen] And his flies were open the whole time!

Ben:
You think I did that on purpose! Go to the shopping center, look at computers and flash a couple of spotty oiks!

Susan:
Your oiks aren't spotty, dear.