Oliver's Travels1995

[satisfied murmuring and groaning from the television]

Oliver:
My word! That's impressive.

WPC Diane Priest:
You should be ashamed of yourself. What *are* you watching?

Oliver:
Simulated sexual intercourse.

WPC Diane Priest:
What's the programme?

Oliver:
I don't know? Wildlife on One. World in Action. Two-Way Family Favourites. Do we look like that?

WPC Diane Priest:
I expect so. We've got four buttocks between us. I dare say they heave in the regulation way. I've never watched.

Oliver:
I like sex better the way it used to be.

WPC Diane Priest:
Has there been some change I don't know about?

Oliver:
I liked it better when the boy kissed the girl and the next thing you saw were waves lapping on the seashore or smoke belching forth from a chimney or a train rushing into a tunnel.

WPC Diane Priest:
Ah you sweet old-fashioned thing.