One Foot in the Grave1990

[first lines]

Radio Announcer:
So, on line two we have Patrick. Good evening to you, Patrick, and what's your question for Mimsy Berkovitz?

Patrick:
Well, it's a bit of a tricky one, but, uh, put simply my wife and I live next door to a man that... if I tell you a few weeks ago he put a specially trained crab up my shorts while I was a asleep in the garden, and that I had to be rushed to hospital with it hanging between my legs like a passenger on a tube train, uh, you'll get some idea of the problem; and what's tricky is that they've invited us round the house tomorrow for a meal to try and patch things up. I just wonder if we should risk it.