Only Fools and Horses....1981

Uncle Albert:
[after looking at an old WW2 photo of Uncle Albert's] Just a few hours after that photo was taken we was in action.

Del Boy:
That's all you need, innit?

Uncle Albert:
There was an American aircraft-carrier, anchored off-shore. The USS Pittsburgh. It was our job to protect her. Well, we'd only been sailing for about an hour and we crashed right into her. Cor, didn't half make a noise.

Del Boy:
[incredulous] You went and whacked into the boat that you were going out to protect?

Uncle Albert:
Yeah. It was a good job she was there actually, she picked up most of the survivors.

Rodney:
Was your ship badly damaged?

Uncle Albert:
*We* couldn't tell, Rodney, it sunk! Course, they tried to put the blame on me.

Del Boy:
Sounds fair.

Uncle Albert:
Just 'cos I was on watch at the time. I had me excuses ready!

Rodney:
What, were you drunk?

Uncle Albert:
Don't be silly! The American vessel was at battle stations and was showing no light. You weren't allowed. There was a war on.

Del Boy:
Course there was.

Uncle Albert:
So then they tried to get me on naval technicalities, like it happened in broad daylight.

Rodney:
You didn't see an aircraft carrier?

Del Boy:
Forty-two thousand tons of steel!

Uncle Albert:
Well I wasn't close enough!

Rodney:
You must have been reasonably close. Unc, you hit it!

Del Boy:
They'd have stood more chance with Ray Charles in the crow's nest!