Peep Show2003

[Jeremy has told Mark that his job working as a Handyman for Russell "The Orgazoid" involves giving him handjobs]

Jeremy Usborne:
And now I don't know what to do, cos on the one hand... On the one hand it's a really good job, but on the other I don't really want to go back to that place or have anything to do with him.

Mark Corrigan:
God, that's a really tough decision.

[voiceover]

Mark Corrigan:
Stay! Stay so I can use the house!

Jeremy Usborne:
I got Super Hans to fill in yesterday, said I was sick. There's loads needs doing before he comes back but I just feel a bit dirty, you know?

Mark Corrigan:
Mmm, yeah, I know what you mean, I feel the same sometimes when I come back from JLB and I've had to do loads of spreadsheets.

Jeremy Usborne:
I don't think it is the same, Mark. I feel like my soul is being chipped away bit by bit.

Mark Corrigan:
Welcome to the world of work, Jeremy. You know, you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps.

Jeremy Usborne:
And you don't have to be a smackhead to wank off old geezers but that probably helps too.

[the doorbell rings. Jeremy answers it - it's Super Hans]

Super Hans:
Why didn't you tell me about the wanking-off bit?

Jeremy Usborne:
Sorry, I didn't think.

Super Hans:
Well, you should have bloody thought. Jesus!

Jeremy Usborne:
Did you do it?

Super Hans:
Course I did. How do you think I got these trainers?

Nancy:
What's going on? Who's wanking who off?

Super Hans:
Jeremy's been wanking off this bloke for cash.

Jeremy Usborne:
No, I haven't! It's not...

Nancy:
[smiling] Jeremy, that is so you! I always knew you'd end up doing something like that.