Peep Show2003

Ian Chapman:
There it is, Dan's barn.

Mark Corrigan:
Or you could just post something negative on the internet or blank him in the post office, that would send out a pretty horrible message.

Ian Chapman:
This is the law of the jungle, this is an eye for an eye.

Mark Corrigan:
And you're sure you're poking the right man in the eye?

Ian Chapman:
[holding up a Molotov cocktail] Light it.

[Mark lights the rag stuffed into the glass bottle filled with petrol. Ian runs towards the barn]

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Well, this is not what I expected. You think you'll be playing Simpsons Monopoly and you end up an arsonist. Still, at least it's not me he's trying to incinerate.

Jeremy Usborne:
What was all that about, trying to get him to poke me in the eye? Let him poke Dan in the eye!

Mark Corrigan:
Right, so instead of facing up to your responsibilities, poor old Dan's going to wake up with his barn burnt, saying goodbye to his no-claims bonus.

[Ian throws the bottle into the barn and it rapidly goes up in flames]

Jeremy Usborne:
Look, stop moaning. We're out with a man who owns guns, you're chucking his daughter and I've screwed his wife. Tonight is going, if a bit weird, extremely f***ing well for us.

Mark Corrigan:
I suppose you're right. Plus maybe burning stuff is, not normal, but less of a big deal out here than it is in a major conurbation.

Jeremy Usborne:
Exactly. I nick your milk, you burn my barn.

Mark Corrigan:
Like scrumping, for apples.

Ian Chapman:
[runs back to them] That's teach him to put his dick where it's not wanted!

Jeremy Usborne:
Yeah, take that, barny!

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Oh God, I'm a firestarter, a twisted firestarter!