Peep Show2003

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] God, what's happening to me? Am I really going to get married? Don't want to, but calling off the wedding at the last minute? Don't want to hurt lovely Sophie. Need time to think, how can I buy some time? Contract TB? But where from? No badgers.

[he sees a large workman coming his way]

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Try to get beaten up? I could say he's got a... fat head. Call him a jizz-cock? Not actually an insult, all c*cks are jizz-c*cks really, be like calling him a piss-kidney.

[he watches cars moving around the car park]

Mark Corrigan:
Road traffic accident? Yeah, that would kick everything into touch for a few months. Sh*t. Could I?

[sees a car coming towards him at about 5mph]

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Here it comes, come on Mark, take the hit. Keep your eyes on the prize!

[he steps in front of the car and the driver brakes]

Motorist:
What the hell are you doing?

Mark Corrigan:
Sorry, I didn't see you.

Motorist:
You were looking straight at me!

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Must get injured!

[to the driver]

Mark Corrigan:
Well, you should be more careful, you... jizz-cock!

Motorist:
What?

Mark Corrigan:
You could have had my legs off, you... piss-kidney!

Motorist:
[driving on] Arsehole.

Mark Corrigan:
[voiceover] Arsehole. Yep, nice insult. Clean, clear and insulting.