Penn & Teller: Bullshit!2003

Penn Jillette:
[on the subject of 3 minute speed dating] It's hard to sell yourself in 3 minutes. These guys aren't professional talkers. What this task needs is CARNIE TRASH, who can turn the tip with some hurry up! Now Teller could never do it himself, but he got himself a talker a long time ago. He doesn't even need to speak anymore. I do all his talking for him. I've had a little practice. I'll give you a Teller pitch in less THAN HALF the allotted time, & leave a little time for long loving looks in her eyes

Penn Jillette:
Howdy ma'am! Let me introduce you to Teller, of Penn and Teller. Perhaps you've seen him on SNL, Letterman, Leno, or his own mega hit, Bullshit, on Showtime. His show Penn and Teller Live at the beautiful Rio All-Suites Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, NV. Are you going to settle to settle down? I don't think you should ma'am. You need to shoot for the top. Teller's smart, funny, successful, quiet. Born in Center City, Philly. Right near the museum. He was born near culture, he lives culture, loves culture, and just plain loves. He loves his parents, and why wouldn't he? Joe and Irene, real artists. Teller has the fine arts in his genes and the jingle in his blue jeans from the show he wrote, directed, produced and stars in called "Penn and Teller." He added my name to the title just out of kindness. He's that kind of loving guy. Teller's show has toured the world many times over and done two smash Broadway runs in New York City. But now, Penn and Teller at the Rio All-Suites Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, NV. Imagine the fun of having all your friends call now for tickets. Teller's a little bit taller than the average five foot nine inch male. He's quite a snappy dresser. You know the lining of his jacket matches the color of his socks, & that's damn metrosexual, if you ask me. He loves all sports, all hobbies, all activities, and he can cook. You'll want to stay around for the morning after the first date to have butternut pancakes and his homemade turkey apple sausage for breakfast. Yum yum yum. Make your life with the star of Penn and Teller at the fabulous Rio All-suites Hotel and Casino in fabulous Las Vegas, NV where he is the fabulous heir apparent to Elvis. Only better because he can do magic and he won't be found fat and dead surrounded, by his own vomit. His name is easy to say, easy to spell. Teller. Act now and as a special offer, the first one hundred respondents, you'll get me!

Penn Jillette:
now tell us all about you!