Police Squad!1982

Mrs. Twice:
Oh, poor Ralph! Do you know what it's like to be married to a wonderful man for fourteen years?

Det. Frank Drebin:
No, I can't say that I do. I did live with a guy once, though, but that was just for a couple of years. [Mrs. Twice makes sounds of trying not to cry] Usual slurs, rumours, innuendos - people didn't understand.

[Ed gives Mrs. Twice a handkerchief and she starts crying into it]

Det. Frank Drebin:
[to camera]

Det. Frank Drebin:
Ran him outta town like a common pygmy. [Mrs. Twice starts crying a little harder]

Capt. Ed Hocken:
Did he have any enemies?

Mrs. Twice:
Well the Democrats didn't like him.

Det. Frank Drebin:
[continues, to camera, with Mrs. Twice continuing to sob softly] Sure, he was a physical education major but he had a mind! He could think, he wasn't all muscle, all body, all sinewy limbs. He got married, you know, later - had three kids. Never cared for her. Sent a nice gift, never got a note.

Capt. Ed Hocken:
Now, I know this is a long shot, but did he ever eat chop suey?

Mrs. Twice:
[crying] No, no he never did.

Capt. Ed Hocken:
It was just a hunch.

Det. Frank Drebin:
[continues, to camera, with Mrs. Twice still going back into her softly sobbing mode] I told him she was wrong. And that youngest boy, just like his father. Football hero. Lived with him for a year. It wasn't the same.

[wistfully]

Det. Frank Drebin:
You can't go back.