Police Squad!1982

Mrs. Twice:
Oh, poor Ralph! And what about my daughter? What am I going to tell her?

Capt. Ed Hocken:
Yeah, you're gonna have to tell her something. Tell her he went on a long trip.

Det. Frank Drebin:
No wait a minute, how about a big monster came and took him to daddy heaven?

Det. Frank Drebin:
[Mrs Twice starts sobbing louder] Nah...

Capt. Ed Hocken:
What about this: he threw himself on a grenade and saved the battalion. Yeah, that's it.

[Mrs. Twice starts sobbing stronger]

Det. Frank Drebin:
No, no, wait a minute, he was killed by a left wing insurgence from Paraguay?

Det. Frank Drebin:
[Mrs. Twice is sobbing uncontrollably now] No, Bolivia.

Capt. Ed Hocken:
I got it! I got it, he, he was traded to the Cubs for Reggie Jackson.

[Mrs. Twice can't stop sobbing, and Frank and Ed finally give up and give her an expression of helplessness]