Police Squad!1982

Tommy Lasorda:
It's my pitching, Johnny. You think I need another starter?

Johnny the Snitch:
How should I know?

[Lasorda gives Johnny a dollar bribe]

Johnny the Snitch:
The rigors of a full season on a four-man rotation are just too demanding. You need a left-handed swing man to fill your long relief spot. Give him an occasional start and it'll round out your staff nicely.

Tommy Lasorda:
You're talking about a guy like Gossage, aren't you, Johnny?

Johnny the Snitch:
Oh, come on Tommy, use your head! Gossage is right-handed and besides, he can't throw more than two innings! Here's the names of five southpaws with career ERA's under 2.93. And you wouldn't have been in this mess if you hadn't given up Tommy John.