Portlandia2011

[Cult leader Aliki is on his deathbed saying goodbye to his followers]

Aliki:
My beautiful Peter.

[Peter gazes sorrowfully at Aliki]

Aliki:
I'm gonna miss touching my Peter... washing my Peter...

Peter:
I'm gonna miss you.

Aliki:
[turning to Nance] Nance.

[Nance sniffles sadly]

Aliki:
You can be a real b*tch.

Nance:
[weepily] Please don't go.

Aliki:
Nance, you're being a b*tch.

[Nance nods, still sniffling]

Aliki:
Okay? It's so bitchy of you to ask me to stay. I gotta go.

[Nance shakes her head no]

Aliki:
Tell me to go.

[Nance more intensely shakes her head no]

Aliki:
Don't be a b*tch, Nance.

Nance:
[weepily] Go. Go.

Aliki:
Thank you, Nance.

[Nance nods]

Aliki:
For dialing your b*tch down a little bit.

[Nance nods]

Aliki:
It means a lot to me. [turning to followers he doesn't know by name] You three? You're nice people, I'm sure. [closes his eyes and commences death rattle]

Nance:
[shaking her head no, whispering through tears] Do not go.

Aliki:
[snaps out of it and looks at Nance] You're being a dumb b*tch. [resumes death rattle]