Queer as Folk2000

Michael Novotny:
It was a trap!

Emmett Honeycutt:
Hey! See that number in the red shorts?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
I can work out for a hundred years and never look like that.

Michael Novotny:
Pretending she didn't like her just to see what I'd say.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Shawn Peters, went home with him the other night, thinking he was this brutal top...

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
And?

Michael Novotny:
...And I fell for it!

Emmett Honeycutt:
Turns out, he's a big, nelly bottom! [laughing]

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
I could've told you that!

Emmett Honeycutt:
Ugh! It's so discouraging. Are there no real man left?

Michael Novotny:
Now they're expecting me to meet them?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Steroid city?

Michael Novotny:
No! In a straight bar. Is there anyone here listening?

Emmett Honeycutt:
[speaking really fast] There's this new girl at work who's interested in you, Fat Marley tricked you into meeting her, and some of the others for a drink after work, and now you have to go, or they might suspect. [changing topic] Check out Mr. Peck-Deck. [back to Michael] So what if they do?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
They could fire him?

Michael Novotny:
Or I can end up an assistant manager for the rest of my life.