Queer as Folk2000

Emmett Honeycutt:
And... the solution is to pretend you like p*ssy?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[sigh] Look, he's not like you, okay?

Emmett Honeycutt:
What is that supposed to mean?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Meaning he's not an obviously gay man.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Are you accusing me of being obvious?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
If the 'f***-me' pump fits...

Emmett Honeycutt:
Ah... [putting down his barbells] Well... I could be a... a real man if I wanted to. You know... [Michael stops doing his routine, raises his eyebrows, looking at Emmett] ...just lower my voice, stop... gesturing with my hands, make sure my face is expressionless, never, never use words like, like "fabulous" or "divine". Talk about... I don't know, [deepening his voice] nailing b*tches and R.B.I.'s. But I'd rather my flame burn bright! Than be some puny little pilot light.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
And a fabulous flame it is.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Thank you.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Yeah, but Michael is out there in the straight world. Believe me, it isn't easy. [reassuring Michael] You do what you have to do.

Michael Novotny:
I better go change.

Emmett Honeycutt:
For your big date? Here's a Sports mag. Better bone up. Just in case the conversation veers away from Liza's weight problem.