Queer as Folk2000

Emmett Honeycutt:
You know, for a skinny white boy, I make one f***ing fabulous black woman.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
How bout another round on me?

Brian Kinney:
I got a better idea. Lets move on.

Michael Novotny:
What's wrong with here?

Brian Kinney:
I've had everyone here.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
My problem precisely.

Michael Novotny:
You haven't had me.

Brian Kinney:
[smiles] Oh, yeah?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
What? You never told us.

Michael Novotny:
There is nothing to tell.

Brian Kinney:
We were up in his room. We were fourteen, fifteen tops. We were supposed to be studying, whatever. Only, we're not. We're looking at this trashy photo mag his mom swiped from the beauty parlor. Anyway, there's this shot of Patrick Swayze from "Dirty Dancing"... without his shirt on. So, I've got this hard-on just from looking at it, and I glance over at Mikey and guess what? He's got one, too.

Michael Novotny:
Okay, you can stop now.

Brian Kinney:
[laughs] Twin stiffies. I reach over, start rubbing it. He's practically swooning. [drops voice] I pop it out, start stroking it, nice and slow. We're both this close. Then... his mom walks in without knocking.

Justin:
They always do. Did she see you?

Brian Kinney:
I don't see how she could have missed it.

Michael Novotny:
Only we didn't come, so it doesn't count.