Ripping Yarns1976

Mr. Ellis:
[in woodwork class] What is that, Tomkinson?

Tomkinson:
[standing before an enormous ship he's assembling] It's a model icebreaker, sir.

Mr. Ellis:
It's a bit big for a model, isn't it?

Tomkinson:
It's a full-scale model, sir.

Mr. Ellis:
[annoyed] It's not a model if it's full-scale, Tomkinson, it's an icebreaker.

Tomkinson:
Yes, it's good, isn't it, sir? It's got three engines, an enormous...

Mr. Ellis:
No no no, that's not the point. That is not a model. It'll be hell if this comes out at speech day exhibition. You're a very stupid boy building icebreakers like this, Tomkinson.

Tomkinson:
[deflated] Yes, sir.

Mr. Ellis:
Now I won't say anything to the headmaster if you can get it down to a minimum of four foot.

Tomkinson:
But sir! There's fifteen hundred tons of steel in this...

Mr. Ellis:
Do you want to come and see the headmaster with me?

Tomkinson:
No, sir.

Mr. Ellis:
Well, melt it down at once.