Rock & Chips2010

[Ernie Rayner has just made a Tannoy announcement at the cinema and doesn't realise that the microphone is still live]

Ernie Rayner:
Off you go Miss Turpin. Oh, and is that button fastened securely?

[Ernie touches a button on Reenie's uniform near her breast]

Reenie Turpin:
[shouts] Get your hands off me, Ernie Rayner, you dirty old man!

[shot of cinema audience listening to every word]

Ernie Rayner:
What's come over you, dear?

Reenie Turpin:
I'll tell you what's come over me. Your *hands* are what's come over me. You're like a sodding octopus!

Raymond:
Mr Rayner was just trying to adjust your uniform.

Reenie Turpin:
If he does it again, I'll simply adjust his knackers.

Ernie Rayner:
Raymond, she is obviously in the throes of the menstrual cycle.

Reenie Turpin:
I'll wrap a *motorcycle* round your head if you don't shut up! Get out of the way and let me sell this chemical crap to the punters.

[everyone in the audience smirks as Reenie walks into the auditorium with a tray of ice cream]