Sledge Hammer!1986

[an inspector from Internal Affairs reviews Hammer's file]

Inspector Perkins:
We're going to talk to that suspect you've just arrested! I want to see if he wants to file a formal complaint against you.

[Down in the jail:
]

Inspector Perkins:
Mr. Slag, I want to know if Inspector Hammer has mistreated you in any way.

[Slag holds up his hands, which are shackled]

Inspector Perkins:
What are these? Are these shackles really necessary?

Sledge Hammer:
I'm just trying to make his stay in Hotel Hammer a little more uncomfortable.

Inspector Perkins:
Remove these shackles.

Sledge Hammer:
You don't want me to remove them.

Inspector Perkins:
Inspector Hammer!

[Slag smirks and holds up his hands. Hammer sighs and unlocks the shackles]

Inspector Perkins:
There. Does that feel better, Slag?

[Slag immediately starts throttling Perkins. As he chokes and gasps, Hammer stands by calmly]

Sledge Hammer:
Just, uh, tell me if you want me to help you. You know, just say, "help me, Hammer" and I'll...

[He leans forward, as though trying to hear]

Inspector Perkins:
[manages to croak] Help.

[Hammer nods and draws his gun]

Sledge Hammer:
All right, heel, ratboy.

[Slag drops Perkins, and shrugs innocently]