So Weird1999

Bricriu:
So, what's on your mind, "sis"?

Fi:
I want to make another deal.

Bricriu:
Oh, please...

Fi:
No, I'm serious. I've been checking up on fairy tales. In "Rumpelstiltskin", the girl gets unlimited guesses. I want the same courtesy.

Bricriu:
Unlimited guesses... and in return, I would get - ?

Fi:
You understand Jack now. But you don't understand the mortal world. If I lose, I'll be your guide. You'll be president; heck, I'll be your Secretary of State.

Bricriu:
Hmm, you wicked, wicked girl. I misread you, little duck. Well, I do want to get back, so I'll give you all the guesses you can make in an hour.

Fi:
An hour?

Bricriu:
Best I can do.

[Fi sets up her laptop where a screen with seven letters is waiting]

Bricriu:
What is that?

Fi:
It's a program Jack made so he'd never lose at Hangman.

Bricriu:
What's it doing?

Fi:
It's cycling through every one of the eight billion seven-letter combinations. Those will be my guesses and, by the way, I won't need the whole hour.

Bricriu:
[nervous] This is cheating! You're not guessing out loud. You're using a *machine* to help you. I don't have to stand here and watch this. [he tries to walk away, but he cannot]

Fi:
By the rules of Celtic magic, you do! You are obligated to stand here and wait 'til I'm done with my guesses.

Bricriu:
You don't know what you're dealing with, girl. You need me. You're puny brother can't protect you the way that I can.

Fi:
Yeah, protect me from what?

Bricriu:
Do you really think I chose your brother by accident? Out of all the bodies in the world? They know about you. They know what you're up to.

Fi:
They?

Bricriu:
Those in the spirit world. They've been watching you sniff around, following the lay lines like a little bloodhound. They want you stopped and believe me, I'm a saint compared with that lot. Talk about no sense of humor.