Soap1977

[Leslie's ex has shown up, interrupting Billy and Leslie's evening]

Charlie:
Kid, run along, huh? I've got some business to discuss with Mrs. Walker.

Leslie:
He's not leaving, Charlie, you are.

Billy:
Leslie, please. I'll handle this. I'm not leaving Charlie, you are.

Charlie:
Look, sonny, either you take a walk or I bounce you down the stairs.

[Charlie starts towards Leslie and Billy twists his arm behind his back]

Billy:
I'm only gonna say this once, so you'd better pay attention. You've been asked to leave and you've been asked nicely. Leslie has asked you and now I'm telling you. I'm a fourth-degree black belt in karate a third-degree master in tai chi, so if you stay here and choose to make trouble, I'm going to hurt you very, very badly. So what's it gonna be?

Charlie:
I just dropped by to say hello.

Billy:
And?

Charlie:
And I've said it. [Billy releases Charlie, but takes a martial arts stance] God, look at the time. I gotta be going. It was nice seeing you both. Bye. [Charlie slinks out the door]

Leslie:
That was wonderful!

Billy:
He bought it!

Leslie:
Such calm, cool...

Billy:
He actually bought it! Usually, they just beat the living hell out of me. It finally worked. Boy is he dumb!

Leslie:
Why did you do that?

Billy:
Why? 'Cause he's an obnoxious jerk and I wasn't crazy about the way he treated you, or me for that matter.