Star Trek: Voyager1995

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic Program.

The Doctor:
Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
Why do you always have to say that?

The Doctor:
I can only speculate about my programmer's motives. Perhaps he thought I might be summoned for important reasons.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
Under the circumstances, don't you think you really ought to change your program?

The Doctor:
Now there's an interesting concept. A hologram that programs *himself.* What would I do with that ability? Create a family? Raise an army?

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
I know a little about holographic programming. I could probably reprogram you.

The Doctor:
That makes me feel particularly confident.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
Has anyone ever told you, you have a lousy attitude?

The Doctor:
If you don't like the doctor's attitude, there's a man sitting at a console in the Jupiter Station Holoprogramming Center you can write to. His name is Zimmerman. He looks a lot like me, actually. Now, not that I don't enjoy the repartee, but was there a reason you stopped in?

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
I need a second opinion on this.

The Doctor:
Who gave you the first opinion?

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
I gave it to myself. It's a sample of residue we picked up in a nebula.

The Doctor:
A nebula? What were we doing in a nebula? No, wait, don't tell me. We were "investigating." That's all we do around here. Why pretend we're going home at all? All we're going to do is investigate every cubic millimeter of this quadrant, aren't we?

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
The molecules are isolinear. No polycyclic structures, but...

The Doctor:
But this is what brought you to me, isn't it? The nucleogenic peptide bonds.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres:
Is it some kind of phosopholipid fiber?

The Doctor:
And you were doing so well. No, I suspect it's something far more interesting than that.