Stay Lucky1989

Lady Karen Winderscale:
[desperately] Look, Darling, I can explain.

Lord Winderscale:
Please, no more lies. You wanted it so much.

[he gives the painting to Lady Karen]

Lord Winderscale:
Here, it's yours. Take it and go. Your bags are packed and ready. Mr Millhaven's two representatives are awaiting your arrival in their hotel in Leeds. I do hope he pays you a fair price for that. Because *that* is all you're ever going to get from me by way of a settlement.

Lady Karen Winderscale:
Look, you can't...

[to Howard Longhurst]

Lady Karen Winderscale:
He can't do this to me, Howard.

Howard Longhurst:
He can. Think yourself lucky, Karen. In a divorce court you'd get nothing. I've resigned as your husband's legal advisor and I'm quite prepared to testify to our affair.

Kevin:
You and all? Hell's bloody bells!

Lord Winderscale:
Indeed.

Lord Winderscale:
[shouts] Morgan!

Lady Karen Winderscale:
You fool! I've got *exactly* what I wanted: one million pounds, and I don't have to share a penny of it with anybody. All I ever wanted was to get away from you - from you and this dead-and-alive place.

[Morgan comes into the room]

Lord Winderscale:
This lady is leaving, Morgan, never to return.

Morgan:
[obsequiously] Oh, very good, sir.

Morgan:
[snarls] Right, you trollope. Git!

[Lady Winderscale walks out of the room]

Kevin:
After all we went through to get it back for you.

Sally Hardcastle:
What the *hell* have you done?

Lord Winderscale:
[gleefully] That painting is in fact a forgery.

Kevin:
So Lady Muck ended up with sweet FA?

Lord Winderscale:
Correct. And she won't find out until Millhaven tries to get it authenticated.

[they all laugh]