The Adventures of Pete & Pete1992

[shows a slide of Little Pete Wrigley to the staff]

Principal Kent Schwinger:
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the enemy. Notice the abundance of freckles, the innocent smile. Don't let him fool you, he's a killer.

Big Pete Wrigley:
[narrating] Meet Principal Kent Schwinger, the most despised principal in Wellsville history. It wasn't the manditory squat thrusts or the creamed corn lunches that made him so hated. It was eight v-necked dweebs called the Up With Personal Hygene singers. Every year, Schwinger inflicted their good hygene jamboree on the helpless kids of Wellsville.

Principal Kent Schwinger:
[shows him a slide of Johnny Earwax and himself] You see I always had a problem with clogged ears. Then one day at school, a little fella named Johnny Earwax sang a song that opened my ears up to a whole new world.

Ms. Burnbawer:
[awakens] That's very touching sir, but...

Principal Kent Schwinger:
But, don't you get it. The Hygene singers are coming today, April Fool's Day. I know how Wrigley thinks, he'll try something.

Ms. Burnbawer:
Aren't you being a bit paranoid?

Principal Kent Schwinger:
Paranoid.

[clicks the remote to switch to security cams which Little Pete is talking to Wayne in the boys bathroom]