The Angry Video Game Nerd2006

The Angry Video Game Nerd:
[after Richard's failed attempt] Well, thanks for trying, and thanks for the Pong console. Would you believe that a 30-year-old Pong console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a cutting edge snarling Jaguar doesn't? There's something wrong here, and you know, I blew $250 on this thing, so you know what I did? Bought another one. Yeah. And guess what. It doesn't work either! So that's about $450 total I blew on two dead Jaguars! And these things are rare, so when the only two that I'm able to get my hands on don't work, that means to me that these things are most definately self-aware! They don't want to work! You can't make them! They just refuse to be reviewed! And I've never had that happen! So, The End. I gotta take a sh*t.