The Angry Video Game Nerd2006

The Angry Video Game Nerd:
Each town has a woman who restores Link's health. She always takes Link inside, and you never see what's happening in there. Is she giving him a potion? Is she performing a magic spell? No. We all know what's happening. Link is like, you know, getting a little of the old in-out in-out. Link isn't a little boy anymore, he's all grown up. He learns all these special moves like the down thrust, the up thrust, and in there, he learns the c*nt thrust! Yeah, that should be the name of a band. But really, Link deserves some from all this hell he goes through. He's not going to get any from Zelda. Well, she is under a sleeping spell. But wait, what was Link doing there in the first place? No! Link's a poon hound!