The Big Bang Theory2007

[first lines]

Sheldon Cooper:
Fellow warriors, this is Sheldor the Conqueror. We are about to enter Atzel's Fortress; now, this is a long run so let's do another bladder check. All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again, but you really should see a doctor. [hears banging outside] Sheldor is AFK. [goes into hall] Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty?

Penny:
Yes, I can't get my stupid door open.

Sheldon Cooper:
You appear to have put your car key in the door lock; are you aware of that?

Penny:
Yeah.

Sheldon Cooper:
All right, then.

Penny:
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

Sheldon Cooper:
Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?

Penny:
I can't get the damn key out.

Sheldon Cooper:
It's not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge-mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagen uses a center cylinder system.

Penny:
Thank you, Sheldon!

Sheldon Cooper:
You're welcome. Point of inquiry: why did you put your car key in the door lock?

Penny:
Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?

Sheldon Cooper:
Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure...

Penny:
I know what it means, Sheldon! God! You know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't got a single acting job. I have accomplished nothing, haven't gotten a raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.

Sheldon Cooper:
Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they're almost pure protein.