The Big Bang Theory2007

Leonard Hofstadter:
So, uh, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?

Penny:
Oh, that's a good question. How about 'awkward'?

Leonard Hofstadter:
That sounds right. Hey, how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date? See how that goes.

Penny:
Okay.

Leonard Hofstadter:
So, Polly, tell me about yourself.

Penny:
It's Penny.

Leonard Hofstadter:
Oh sorry, yeah, awkward...

Penny:
Okay, uh, let's see, I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was little girl I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star. Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true! Your turn!

Leonard Hofstadter:
Ah, let's see. I am an experimental physicist at Caltech. Most of my research is with high-powered lasers and, oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles.

Penny:
Wow! Can they?

Leonard Hofstadter:
Oh, God no! The money's pretty good. And I use the equipment to make my own Bat Signal.

Penny:
Bat Signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?

Leonard Hofstadter:
Not "some *kind* of nerd". I am the king of nerds!

Penny:
What does that mean?

Leonard Hofstadter:
Well, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.