The Big Bang Theory2007

Howard Wolowitz:
So nice you could join me this evening. You're looking lovely as always.

Katee Sackhoff:
Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.

Howard Wolowitz:
Come on, Katee, don't make it sound so cheap.

Katee Sackhoff:
I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.

Howard Wolowitz:
Thank you. So, shall we get started?

Katee Sackhoff:
Sure, but could I ask you a question first?

Howard Wolowitz:
You want to play Cylon & Colonist?

Katee Sackhoff:
No. I want to know why you're playing make-believe with me when you could be out with a real woman tonight.

Howard Wolowitz:
You mean Bernadette?

Katee Sackhoff:
No, I mean Princess Leia. Of course I mean Bernadette. She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you.

Howard Wolowitz:
I know, but she's not you.

Katee Sackhoff:
I'm not me. The real me is in Beverly Hills going out with a tall, handsome, rich guy.

Howard Wolowitz:
Really? Tall?

Katee Sackhoff:
Six four.

Howard Wolowitz:
Ouch.

Katee Sackhoff:
The point is you've got a wonderful girl in your life and you're ignoring her in order to spend your nights in a bathtub with a mental image and a washcloth.

Mrs. Wolowitz:
Howard! What are you doing in there?

Howard Wolowitz:
I'm taking a bath!

Mrs. Wolowitz:
I hope that's all you're doing! We share that tub!

Howard Wolowitz:
Don't remind me!

[he turns back to find Katee has disappeared]

Howard Wolowitz:
Oh, man, all soaped up and no place to go.