The Bill Cosby Show1969

Chet Kincaid:
Can I get you something? Uh, coffee?

Uncle Dewey:
No, I can't have no coffee. If I have coffee, I can't sleep.

Aunt Edna:
[quarreling in front of Chet and his girlfriend] Did you hear that man? There's a man that gets out of breath puttin' on his pajamas at night.

Uncle Dewey:
Woman, don't be so simple!

Aunt Edna:
That's the man who has to take naps, so he can be rested when he goes to sleep.

Uncle Dewey:
I wouldn't keep my eyes closed so much, if my eyes had somethin' to look at! You know what that woman look like at night, with all of that grease, and that lotion, and that cream? Why, man, she has to hold on to the mattress to keep from slidin' out of the bed.

Aunt Edna:
You sittin' there talkin' about the way I look?

Uncle Dewey:
You heard me, woman!

Aunt Edna:
Your shadow's better lookin' than you!

Uncle Dewey:
You could change your oil every night, but it makes no difference 'cause the engine is shot!